For Jimmy

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

By Christina Rossetti

So, what you're actually trying to say is...

Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports) and from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:

1. A gross ignoramus = 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

2. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

3. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

4. A room temperature IQ.

5. Bright as Alaska in December.

6. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

7. Fell out of the family tree.

8. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

9. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

10. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

12. He's so dense, light bends around him.

13. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

14. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

15. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

16. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

17. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

18. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

19. One neuron short of a synapse.

20. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

22. Takes him 10 hours to watch 60 minutes. 23. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

24. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


Actual quotes from Federal employee performance evaluations:

1. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this employee to breed.

4. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

6. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

7. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

8. This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

9. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

10. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

11. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

I've got that Wednesday feeling...

Wednesday, and almost the end of another week… almost.

I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend, spending some quality time with Mike and perhaps pootering around the house.

Sometimes I like nothing better than just ‘pootering’ and for those of you who aren’t in the know; ‘Pootering’ is a little like pottering… only much more laid back.

The weather has been great this week. Sunshine, clear skies and a fresh wind blowing. It finally feels as though summer is on the way – although I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it rains all weekend, especially considering I’m at work all week!

Unfortunately though the lighter mornings mean that I’m waking with the birds at around 4.30am. I insist on going back to sleep mind you… I mean what kind of ungodly hour is 4.30am to get up in the mornings?

I’ve been feeling so much more positive about things – and I’m beginning to learn that I’ll be me, no matter what other people think of me. Besides – the important people in my life know and love me for who I am. I’m so lucky to have a family and close friends who appreciate me – even if I am a little strange.

As Chidinma Obietikponah once said

Always show the you in you that makes you the you that you are.