Sense?...Or Something Else?

Sunshine

2008-02-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Well, the weather has been glorious the last couple of days. It's been cold first thing in the morning but the sun has been beating down all day and is really warming. I feel so much better for seeing a little sunlight. I've always been a bit of a sunworshipper and love nothing more than just lying basking in its rays.

So, at lunch time today we're escaping the office and will be eating our sandwichs in view of the beach. That'll give me my UV fix for the day.

Sunday

2008-02-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

Well - we're having one of those Sundays which I really enjoy. Lazying around the house, doing a few bits and bobs but otherwise slobbing.

We'll be heading out in a wee while to spend some time with my brother and nephew. Looking forward to that. Will is hilarious at the moment and a right little charmer. He's going to be a heartbreaker when he gets a bit older I think.

Not sure what we're up to later on this evening... although it might involve a curry. Hmmmmmm curry!

We went to the movies yesterday evening to see Sweeney Todd and I really enjoyed it. It's not a musical I'm familiar with but it was excellent and Johnny Depp's performance was as good as ever. Would recommend it to anyone who enjoys something a little different. Although it is slightly on the gruesome side.

Back to work tomorrow... boooooo! The weekend just passes way too quickly for my liking!

Positive Thinking

2008-01-31T08:19:00.001-08:00

It’s been such a long time since I posted anything on this site! The few people who actually kept up to date with my blog will probably think I dropped off the face of the planet.

Not so! I’m back… and hopefully this time to stay.

This past year has been eventful and lots of fun. It would take far too long to fill you in on everything that’s been happening but after a difficult start to our new life in the North of Scotland me and Mike have settled in nicely. We’re still living in our lovely country cottage with our remaining pussy cat Smudge, with the addition of a tropical fish tank full of interesting inhabitants. We’re both enjoying work to a reasonable extent, having made a number of good friends and finally settling into a routine. I’m so grateful to be back in a job that I enjoy, after my last disaster. But we won’t talk about that!

In the latter half of 2007 I finally got back involved with theatre, taking the adult lead in a new musical called Lady Lane. It was lots of fun and made me realise just how much I’d missed acting and singing. I’m in the middle of rehearsing for a new play which opens on the 28th February called The Guid Sisters. It’s a black comedy and I play a pretty interesting character called Rose.

My little nephew Will is growing up fast. He’s 18months old now and chattering away like a dafty. I can’t get over how clever he is and how funny. My brother David and his wife Laura are doing a spectacular job of raising him and I love being so close to them.

My parents are both well and just as supportive as ever. Just recently I’ve started to realise that my parents don’t just love me… the actually like me. Probably sounds like a strange thing to say but so many family don’t have that kind of relationship. They spend time together because they have to… not because they want to. The four of us love spending time together, having dinner and just chilling out. I’m lucky to have them.

I’ve been feeling more like myself than I have in as long as I can remember. Doing all the things I used to love doing… being the person I enjoy being… with the love and support of those people most important to me.
I’m very lucky!

I'm back!!

2007-04-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

Well - it's certainly been a while since I've posted.

Needless to say A LOT has happened.

I'm only just up and running with internet connection at home - it's been a long and very complicated problem but we've finally got it fixed and are back up and running with an internet connection in the house.

YIPPEE!!

I've got a new job...things are pretty good. So amazingly enough... no moaning this post!

Mike is dying to get on the computer for a bit now that we've got it up and running... so I'll post a proper entry when I have a bit more time.

I just wanted to say - HULLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Roll on 2007

2006-12-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

My last few blogs have been very miserable. I feel like I'm moaning all the time - but things haven't been great... and just this last week they reached an all time low.

Our wonderful monster of a moggy Milo died on Christmas Eve. We have no idea what happened. He went out on the Saturday evening - and didn't come back. both our cats come in at night and always come when we call them. It was bitterly cold that night - the frost was thick on the ground. And we both knew something was very wrong when Milo still wasn't home by midnight. Mike went looking for him with the torch but couldn't find him. I waited up all night for him but there was still no sign, so on Sunday morning (Christmas Eve) I went out looking for him as soon as it was light enough to see. I was heading back to the house when Mike called to say that he'd found our little baby dead in the field behind our house.

Needless to say we are absolutely devastated.

We buried him at my parents house that same day. It sounds strange but we both needed to get it done - having him there, not wanting to let him go was very hard. Putting him in the ground and actually saying goodbye was even harder.

Our two pussy cats Smudge and Milo have always been a hugely important part of our lives - and we've lost an important member of our family.

I know a few people reading this will be thinking - it was just a cat!

But he wasn't just a cat to us.

He was a mischievous little trouble maker.

A monster.

Master mouse catcher - Milo the Merciless!

He was my little baby - suckling on my earlobes when he needed a cuddle.

He was brilliant and very funny.

He loved mashed tatties and gravy.

His favourite toy was a stuffed tiger he used to carry around in his mouth as a kitten.

He loved to pounch on anything that moved.

He didn't meow - he talked. We'd have lengthy conversations about our days.

He made a funny little bird noise - too lazily to open his mouth to meow properly.

He only purred when he exhaled.

He always told you when he wanted to go to bed - and would expect you to join him. If you didn't he would complain loudly.

He loved to torment Smudge.

His favourite movie was Ice Age - but he loved animal programs as well.

He was terrified of the hoover.

He had the biggest paws I've ever seen in a cat - in fact he was HUGE!

He was gorgeous.

And we have some very fond and very sad memories of him. He would have been 3 in June and although the time we had with him was very special it was way too short.

Anyway - Christmas has been very sad this year. I'm looking forward to a New Year - and a new start. I think I need it.

Reflecting

2006-12-18T04:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I've just read through my last few entries. It's amazing how time has flown in... and how much things have changed in such a short space of time.

I can't believe it's only been a couple of months since Mike joined me up North and we started our new life together. It's certainly been a rollercoaster - and that's putting it mildly.

I've always been one to have strong impressions of situations, people and places. I can usually pick up 'vibes' about people but I never trust my instincts. I really should have - again!

My new job turned into a nightmare and reading back on previous posts I think I knew right from the start that it wasn't for me. The job has been stressful, demanding and have put pressure on my relationships, making our new start here more of a up hill struggle than it needed to be. Starting a new life, moving home and leaving behind everything you've known is a massive upheaval at the best of times - so having a job that makes you feel down, anxious and full of despair is not the best way to ease yourself into things.

To be fair I don't think I can blame anyone but myself - although my boss is a bully...plain and simple. She is a woman who has no concept of how her actions effect others; demanding your full attention, commitment and your dedication for no thanks or encouragement. I was told the job would be difficult and that she was a nightmare to work for - but I guess I just didn't realise how much of a nightmare it would be.

I started to get panic attacks - to dread my next day at work. I was in tears constantly, at the thought of having to spend a single minute more in that office. I've had my confidence dashed and my faith in human spirit shaken. How can people be so selfish? To think that they are more important than anyone else? Is mankind really so shallow?

Anyway - things came to a very dramatic head a week past Friday when I had a massive panic attack and ended up at the doctors. I know it sounds melodramatic but I was keenly aware that my sanity was hanging by a thread... that I was very close to 'loosing it' in a big way. And I've never been so terrified in my life.

It probably sounds ridiculas. To get so overwhelmed by the stress of a job that you feel like you're going crazy. but that was me - and I'm only now just starting to feel more like myself again.

I've been signed off work for four weeks - I know I'm not going back... my boss knows I'm not going back. And to be honest I think we're both as pleased as each other. It's a difficult thing knowing that you're not wanted, or really liked, but I guess I learnt a long time ago that you can't be liked all of the time. People are different - personalities clash - life goes on.

Crazy Days

2006-11-21T00:32:00.000-08:00

Well, things are finally starting to settle down after a mad few weeks.

I'm been going through a pretty tough time of it at work. I thought I was handling things ok, the work is very stressful and my boss is a complete nightmare... but things seem to be going reasonably well. Over the last month, things haven't been so great.

My boss has been nitpicking about everything I do. Checking on my work behind me, and in secret. Doubting my abilities and making it very obvious that she wasn't that happy with what I was doing. Things finally came to a head a couple of weeks ago when she reduced me to tears and we had it out. I told her she was intimidating me and that I had no illusions that she wanted me to stay in the job... well, to cut a long story short I think it's cleared the air a little. But I have no doubt that it's only a matter of time before things kick off again - she's just that sort of person, unpredictable and very unorganised.

Perhaps I didn't fully appreciate the level of work involved? I mean, I'm an organised person when it comes to work... Mike's nickname for me is Monica from Friends - cause he thinks I'm that anal about things. But organising Fiona (my boss) ... well, that's a whole other kettle of fish!

Anyway, at the moment the rough seas are calm (so to speak) and we'll see how it goes. But I'm coming to the conclusion more and more these days that life is just too short to live with stress. It overwhelms every other aspect of your life and that's the last thing I want.

Perhaps a new job is in order?

It's been a while...

2006-11-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

Well - things have been a little hectic over the past few weeks.

Mike arrived safe and well and we moved into our little cottage together just over a week ago. The place needs a little work but the re-decoration is in full swing. I'll be happy if the place is sorted before Christmas to be honest.

Work is unbelievably stressful - I don't think I quite realised what I was letting myself in for when I took the job to be honest. I'm not a calm person by nature but I'm learning slowly but surely that stressing doesn't get you anywhere... other than a nice padded room and a straight jacket! I've just got to learn to breath deeply - take each day as it comes - and learn to let it wash over me.

How long do you think I'll last?!

It's Mike's birthday on Saturday and I think I'm more excited than he is. I've got him a lovely pressie which I'm sure he'll be very happy with. I've had it for weeks and have been bursting to give him it... almost there now and I can share the secret!

Once we're up and running with our own internet etc I'll be able to update more regularly. I just haven't found the time to get things sorted properly yet... I will... eventually.

Speak to you all soon

xxx

Feeling a little blue...

2006-10-05T00:54:00.000-07:00

I'm almost at the end of my 5th week in my new job. The time has past by so quickly - I'm grateful for that!

I spent last weekend with Mike, we had some quality time together which was very much needed, and knowing that we only had two weeks left apart seems to have really made things harder. Knowing that the end is in sight, and that we'll be together in our new home in less than 14 days just makes me want it even more...and of course... the more you want time to pass quickly, the slower it goes.

I guess I'm just feeling a little low.

Mike has the amazing ability of knowing just what to say to make me feel better... but some how the words just aren't the same without the hugs to go with them. Almost there...almost...

Times Flies...

2006-09-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I'm almost at the end of my 4th week here.

The time has past so quickly - but that's got to be a good thing.

I'm enjoying work, despite the rushing around, longer hours and more stress. I've always one to get pretty stressed out by things, to let things get on top of me - but for some strange reason I seem to be enjoying, even thriving on the paster pace. I'm learning new things every day and it's great to be doing a job that I actually find interesting. I'm meeting new and interesting people, some real 'characters' on occasion and its all making me feel more confident that we've made the right decision and that this move is the right thing to do.

Obviously life would be easier if I had Mike here. But the one positive that has come out of us being apart for this time is that I know with all my heart that he's the only man for me.

Uhoh! Mushy stuff alert - quick...grab a bucket!

I'm sure I'm driving my parents nuts at the moment mind you. The first two weeks it was great being back home - in fact, its still being great back home and I couldn't have done this without my parents love and support. But after 10 years of independence, its difficult to settle in to someone else routine. I'm looking forward to getting into our own wee cottage. I'm sure my parents will appreciate having their space back as well!!

Oh well - I just wanted to post an update. Sorry I haven't had the time to visit the blogs I normally do but once things get back to 'normal - well, as normal as they can be with me! I'll be back with a vengence - you won't be able to get rid of me!

Life Goes On...

2006-09-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Well - these past two weeks or so have past in a blur... I can't believe I'm in the middle of my third week here already. How times flies and all that!

I feel like I'm settling in reasonably well in my new job. It's busy...frantic even... and I'm working longer hours than I did in my previous job. My boss is a whirlwind...and probably the most disorganised person in the world but she's really nice and seems to be warming to me, slowly but surely. I guess these things take time don't they? People need to get to know each other before things finally click. The work is fascinating and I can honestly say that, although I'm rushed off my feet and hardly have time to breath, I'm enjoying myself. I'm learning new things and having new experiences. And that's always a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

I spent the weekend with Mike down in Kirkcaldy. It was great to see him. Seeing him standing on the platform as the train pulled in, waiting for me, made me feel so much better. And being able to throw my arms around him again was the most amazing feeling. Don't worry - I won't go into that mushy stuff too much. But needless to say I've missed him like crazy. I feel like there's a part of me missing when he's not around.

Spending the weekend with Mike and the moggies was wonderful - but I guess in a way it's made it all the harder to leave him and come back up to Elgin with out him. Mike is a massive and very important part of my life and I guess we take people for granted when they're there every day. It's only when we're faced with life without them that we truly realise how much we depend on them...how much we love them.

My friend Fiona is going through a tough time at the moment. She coping magnificently with the death of a close family member... I just wish I was there to help her get through this difficult time. Positive and healing thoughts are definetely needed for her and her family.

Well - I've waffled enough for now. Life goes on... things change... and although it's hard at first I guess I'm beginning to realise that these tough patches only make the good times seem even better.

What a week!

2006-09-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm at the end of my first full week back in the Elgin area. And WOW! what a week!

My new job is hectic, and that's putting it mildly! I'm really going to have my work cut out for me and I'm not ashamed to admit that on Monday, having left work for a lunch break, I was a complete panicking mess. In all honesty I really didn't want to go back - I sat in the car with my Mum and sobbed, convinced that I'd made a horrible mistake. Thankfully Mum was there to calm me down - usually it's Mike's job but with him being so far away I'm just grateful that I've got such a wonderful Mum to help me through these wobbly moments. I did go back and that afternoon was slightly better. Over the course of this last week I really feel that I've grounded myself in the job. It's very busy, there are long hours (I've worked over 44 this week!) and my boss couldn't organise her way out of a wet paperbag, bless her; but I really feel that I've got the basics to start from. From here on in it'll be a chance to really make the job mine and get to grips with it all.

I'm missing Mike desperately. It's so strange being so far away. I'm missing his cuddles the most... the way he can just wrap his arms around me and make everything feel so much better. Mike isn't much of a talker and he keeps his emotions pretty well wrapped up. But he just has this way of looking at me with those lovely big blue eyes of his and silently telling me that everything is fine. Sounds daft I know - but it's true.

I miss Milo and Smudge too. Strange how used to get to having an animal around. My two babies are as much a part of our wee family as anyone else and I'm missing having them around. I keep wondering what's missing when I wake up and then I suddenly realise it's the weight of Milo lying at the end of the bed that isn't there. Or the sound of Smudge purring.

I'm keeping in touch with Fee by text and through the computer. I'm terrible at phoning mind you - but that'll probably be a relief eh Fee... don't think you're one for blethering away on the phone anyway are you? Thanks for what you said in your blog by the way - oh, and anyone who hasn't checked out Fiona's blog... the link is over there on the right! :o) Missing you like mad honey - but I'll see you next weekend. We can have a good catch up then eh?

Anyway - the week has flown by. Hopefully the other weeks will move along just as quick and I can be with Mike again.

A New Start

2006-09-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

So - I'm here... this is it... tomorrow I start my new job...I'm living back in the Elgin area with my parents at the moment until Mike moves up in October and we can move into our new cottage.

In all honesty - I'm pooping my pants!

It hit me earlier today, when Mike and Fiona (who was a complete angel and drove us up here this afternoon) got back in the car to head back to Kirkcaldy with out me. I'm not shy to admit that I completely fell to pieces and it was a good job Mike had the strength to get in that car and drive away... because I found it very difficult to physically let go and him and say goodbye.

I know it's going to be a great move for us. We'll be living in a beautiful area of the world, I've got a better job, I'm closer to my family and we're going to have the life we've always dreamed of. But right now it feels like a million miles away and at the moment I can't think about more than one day at a time.

Breath Rachel... take it as it comes... breath...

Mike and I haven't been apart for more than a couple of days for nearly 5 years - I can't imagine going to bed every night without having him there for a cuddle - or simply having him there to talk to whenever I want. But hopefully the next six weeks will pass quickly and we'll be together again, living in our new home and sharing a whole load of new experiences together.

My friend Fiona drove me up this afternoon, driving a 350 mile round trip to make sure I got here safely. Thank you Fee - I don't know what I'd do without you. You have to be one of the most generous and wonderful people I've ever met - and no matter where I am in the world or how far apart we seem to be... I'll always love you heaps! Thank you.

Well, I think I'll call it a night. I'm going to get into my PJs, try to relax and get ready for a new start tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

2 Days To Go!!!

2006-08-31T07:29:00.000-07:00

Reorganisation

2006-08-30T01:50:00.000-07:00

Well - I'm one for being organised...I'm anal about it in fact... so I've decided my blog requires a little reorganisation. Sue & Matthew gave me the idea of having seperate areas for the different subjects I want to speak about from their site (thanks by the way!) So...I'm in the process of transfering all the paranormal related posts over to my new Paranormal Blog.

Bare with me folks!

By the way - if you haven't checked out Sue & Matthew's blogspot - click on the link to the right!

Tick...tick...tick

2006-08-23T01:19:00.000-07:00

Time is ticking away - only 10 days to go before I go!

I'm not nervous...really I not...honestly!

Do I sound convincing?

I'm sure the next week and a bit will fly by - I've got so much to do and so many people to see.

In no time at all I'll be starting my new job and enjoying being at home permanetly for the first time in almost 10 years.

Look out Elgin - Rachel's back in town!!

Phew! What a week!

2006-08-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic week or so, what with one thing or another.

Things seem to be well on track for the move up north. I start my new job on the 4th September and I'll be joined by Mike on the 7th October up in the Elgin area.

I can't thank my parents, Dave and Chris, enough for their continued support and encouragement. And their generosity. Not only are they helping us move, putting me up for 5 weeks before Mike can join me, and looking keeping me sane through our daily conversations, they are offering Mike and our two pussy cats a home for the couple of weeks before we can move into our new home. It's moments like these where I realise just how lucky I am to have such wonderful parents!

At the moment we're waiting to finalise the details of our new home - which will hopefully be only a field away from my parents cottage. Two holiday cottages along the road have become available for long term let and at the moment things are looking very promising for me and Mike moving in around the 21st October. I can't tell you how excited I am about the prospect of living back in Roseilse... the place I was brought up... just a few minutes from my parents house. It's a dream come true. I think I can safely say though - if you don't ask, you don't get...it was by pure chance that I sent an email to the owners enquiring as to whether they might be interested in leasing us the property. What luck! But then I know a lot of people who know me will be sure that it was all meant to be right from the start.

So - now we need to find Mike a job and we're all set.

I spent the night in hospital on Sunday evening attending a sleep clinic. Not that a don't sleep well - completely the opposite... I sleep a little too well and have great difficulty waking up, especially if I'm experiencing vivid dreams. So I spent most of a 24 hours period with enough electrodes stuck to my face and head to light up Blackpool Tower. Needless to say I felt a little silly walking around the hospital so spent most of the day hiding in the ward...although I convinced myself that if anyone did ask I would tell them I was so clever that the hospital wanted to measure my amazing brain activity!

I'll won't get my results for some time but it'll be worth it if they can get to the bottom of the problem... and no... I'm not just a lazy cow!

Finally - just a little thought on the subject of Trolls.

For those of you not in the know, 'Trolls' are mischievous little buggers who prowl the internet for bloggers, like you and me, to torment and annoy. They enjoy baiting people into needless debates, offending writers with their biogtry and general rudeness and bascially getting up to no good. The internet seems to be a breeding ground for them - especially in today's unsympathetic climate. Unfortunately there doesn't appear to a cure for the troll infestation, at the moment; however, we have found the following remedies to work temporarily until a more permanent cure can be found.

1. Spray them with a little disdain - although this may aggrovate them at first, with time and patience this will reduce their annoying activity.

2. Trolls thrive on emotions - therefore we advise that, should you engage in 'conversation' with a troll, do not give them the satisfaction of 'rising to the bait'. We often find that if the disdain option doesn't work - ignoring a troll will. Troll's have a short attention span and will often loose interest in their prey should they come to the conclusion they are being ignored.

3. Trolls are stupid. It's a fact - no matter how important they make themselves sound, words they use or facts they produce. They are sad little creatures who feel the need to belittle others in order to make themselves feel more intelligent. Treat them as such.

4. If a troll gets out of hand contact your internet provider and advise them of the situation. Also contact the administrators of the site through which you are receiving the troll's attention. Internet harrassment is illegal and can be dealt with very swiftly and severely by the authorities.

They say a Change is Good...

2006-08-08T02:22:00.000-07:00

...well, we're in for some big changes over the next couple of months.

Over the past few years I've grown increasingly homesick, as regular readers of my blog will have no doubt realised. I feel I've missed out on so much; and this realisation hit me smack in the face when my Dad had his heart attack. Since then we've been planning to move closer to home. Now, as of 4th September 2006, that's where I'll be!

I've got a new job, as the PA to a defence lawyer who is based in Elgin. The job sounds excellent, although I'm sure I'm going to have my work cut out for me, it's good money and best of all it's close to home.

So - I move up the weekend of the 2nd/3rd September. My parents have been generous enough to offer me a bed until we can get our own flat/home sorted out. Thanks Mum and Dad! I know it's going to be strange living at home after 10 years of independence - but I'll try not to drive you nuts! Promise!

Mike will join me up north in early October, once the lease of our current flat expires. I don't relish the thought of being away from Mike for 4-5weeks. He's my rock - the person who keeps me sane... but I know it'll all be worth it when we're settled in our own place, in new jobs and close enough to family to be able to meet for lunch, go out for beers or have dinner whenever we feel like it. I'm going to be able to babysit for my little nephew Will and watch him as he changes and grows day by day. I get to be 'Flaky Auntie Rachel'!

I won't pretend that I'm not scared out of my wits mind you. It's a big change. I'll be leaving a lot of friends and family down here - and a lot of memories. I'll continue to work with Scottish Paranormal - that won't change thanks to the wonder of internet! And I'll be traveling down to visit with friends and family as often as I can.

Exciting - but very scary times!!

Silent Philosophies

2006-07-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

This room is small and
lined with shelves, where.
crowded, books on books
are stacked floor to ceiling.

A man is here. I sit and watch
as, while quietly reading, he
swings his foot. Back and forth.

Drumming fingers.

I sit...and sit...and sit.
Watching dirty sunlight creeping
through suffocating cloud and
ancient glass, catching falling dust
and floating
forgotton
philosophies.

Silent-ish air fills my lungs,
I breathe and taste, vaguely, paper
at the back of my throat.
Voices, seep through walls, dripping
puddles of poems and laughter
into this silence.

I hear a sigh, look up and
see the man has moved.
He stands, "hmmmmmms" and
stretches. Seeming to fill the
room from floor to ceiling.

Suited but not smart,
Faded brown cord, once-white
shirt. Decaying slowly, part of
this room. He belongs.

A nail upon teeth, tapping, thoughtfully
reaching for a book, hesitating. Fingers
linger over first choice, then the second,
torn between the two, then lifting
both from the shelf.

He places them gently, lovingly, on the
desk before him. They are old, worn,
well used. His fingers caressing the
ready to crumble leather.

He opens one slowly, gently... and in
the silence I hear the pages creak.
Sitting slowly, reading once more
I watch.

He himself it like a book,
Lines etched upon his face read
Experience, knowledge, love, wisdom,

And Time is his author.

Me and Fee

2006-07-26T05:33:00.000-07:00

My lovely friend Fiona - ain't she gorgeous?!

HOT!

2006-07-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how hot it is out there today.

And it's supposed to be even hotter tomorrow!

Unfortunately, I'm stuck in the office but to be honest, even if I wasn't, I think I'd be sitting in the shade today. I've just been out for a quick walk to pick up some paperwork and it's so hot that even during the 2 minutes it took me to walk between buildings I felt my skin burning. Who would have thought it - here in Scotland!!

You see so many people stripping off in this sort of weather - and you can't blame them. It's so novel to get such beautiful sunshine that people automatically think 'SUN TAN!' and it's short sleeves, vests and shorts ahoy! But I think the risk of sun burn just isn't worth it. I've been burnt quite a few times in my life and it's a painful experience.

I'd rather slap on the sun cream, wear a hat and sit in the shade these days. I'd rather be tanless than have skin cancer!

Pollution, global warming and the reduction in our ozone layer means that the damage the sun does to our skin is much, much worse than it used to be. And if human beings continue to abuse Mother Earth the way we are then it can only get worse. Perhaps we won't see it in our lifetime but the day will come where human beings won't be able to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine because it'll be so dangerous and damaging.

Sad, but true.

Back to Work

2006-07-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Well today has been my first day back to work after over a week on holiday.

It's been great to get away and visit my family. It's been especially good to meet my new nephew Will who I've been lucky enough to spend a few precious hours with. He really is gorgeous - but then I'm biased aren't I? I know that David and Laura are going to make wonderful parents; they are already doing brilliantly and you would think they'd been doing the whole 'parents' thing for years.

Work today was hectic and very busy. Despite what has been previously mentioned in comments here I do not deteste my job. I recognise that being the PA to the Head of IT at NHS Fife isn't perhaps where I thought I'd be 10 years ago; but it's a good job and I work for a boss who appreciates me and the work I do for him. Something he said today made me realise that I must be doing something right - he said he'd missed me and didn't realise quite how much he depended on me before now. Nice to be appreciated isn't it?

So - it's back to the normal schedule. I'm currently waiting to receive a copy of the programme we recently recorded for Discovery Kids Channel's 'Mystery Hunters'. It was a strange experience filming for a proffesional company - but I really enjoyed it and am nervous but excited about seeing the results.

Thanks to everyone who's posted their comments here recently - it's great to know that there are sensible and generous people out there who appreciate diversity and individuality as much as I do.

Thanks again.

Summer Holidays

2006-06-26T04:09:00.000-07:00

Well - as someone pointed out no one appears to comment very often on my blog... boo hoo I'm so unpopular!

Rachel rolls her eyes

No offense to anyone who actually reads my blog but I post because I enjoy it... I'm under no illusions of grandure, unlike some people I might mention.

Anyway - I'm on the first day of my holidays... and I'm doing housework! I mean, what's that all about?! The sun is shining...I've got beers in the fridge... and most importantly I'm not stuck in the office all day - so I guess I shouldn't complain eh?

We're due to travel up north to visit my family on Wednesday and I can't wait. It's going to be great to see my Mum and Dad but I'm especially excited about meeting my little nephew Will for the first time. It'll be good to spend time with David and Laura too.

It's going to be good to spend some quality time with Mike as well - although I'm not sure I'll be able to drag him away from the television... considering that the world cup AND Wimbledon is on. Rachel rolls her eyes again

Wish me luck.

For My Dad...

2006-06-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

Father's Day Poem

A Dad is a person who is loving and kind,

And often he knows what you have on your mind.

He's someone who listens, suggests, and defends.

A dad can be one of your very best friends!

He's proud of your triumphs,

but when things go wrong,

A dad can be patient and helpful and strong

In all that you do, a dad's love plays a part.

There's always a place for him deep in your heart.

And each year that passes,

you're even more glad,

More grateful and proud just to call him your dad!

Thank you, Dad...

for listening and caring,

for giving and sharing,

but, especially, for just being you!

Happy Father's Day.

Author Unknown

Dad - You're my hero!

Love you

xxx

Auntie Rachel

2006-06-16T02:07:00.000-07:00

My brother David and my sister in law Laura had a gorgeous baby boy last night.

Wow! I can't believe that annoying big brother of mine... the same one who used to build dens and play star wars with me... the same one who used to tickle me till I cried... the same one who used to beat me up and tease me mercilessly... is now a Dad!

I'm so proud of you guys!!

June

2006-06-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

June is finally here and after a bit of a rocky start the weather is starting to improve and it finally feels a little more like Summer. Today is turning out to be nice and warm, the sun is shining, the birds are tweeting and I’m stuck inside… in the office… again!

What I wouldn’t give for a job that allowed me to work outside more. Perhaps I should indicate to my boss that a laptop is an essential requirement to my job… that along with a wireless connection… a deckchair… a picnic table… plenty of sun cream and a large cocktail… with one of those little umbrellas in it!

Think he’ll go for it?

So – today is 06.06.06 is it?

666 The Mark of The Beast…Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuun!!!!! (Que the hammer horror music)

What a pile of hyped up, misguided, superstitious nonsense! Honestly, I think the media would hype up anything to get people going. And here’s me thinking human beings are supposed to be intelligent and evolved? PAH! Sometimes I think we’re stuck in the dark ages – next we’ll be back to burning witches at the stake and proclaiming the world to be flat!

The World Cup starts in a week. Oh JOY! Another excuse for testosterone filled men to fight about something inconsequential. Sorry to disappoint you lads… but IT’S ONLY A GAME!!! The world is going footie mad, it’s on the tele, in the papers, people are talking about it… arguing about it… even the politicians are getting involved… I mean… COME ON!! Surely there are more important matters for our ‘leaders’ to be discussing other than who should be supporting England in the World Cup! Is it just me? Or has the world gone mad?!

And no – I won’t be supporting England in the World Cup. Why?

1. I don’t class myself as being English

2. I’m so sick of the media’s hype of England’s chances of winning that I’m actually beginning to hope they knocked out in the first stages. (Sorry Dad and Bro!)

3. If I hear the John Motson mention 1966 one more time I’m likely to have an uncontrollable urge to shove a football up his rear end.

4. I have better things to do with my time.

So – what will I being doing for the four weeks our televisions and lives are taken over by The World Cup?

Something else.

Here comes the sun...

2006-05-11T04:25:00.000-07:00

Well, this past week has been glorious! The sun has been shining and the birds have been singing and I for one have been feeling so much better for it.

I always think this time of year is funny… funny ‘Ha Ha’ and a little funny ‘strange’. One minute the trees are bare, the buds barely visible and the next… POOF! The trees are full of blossom and leaves are appearing rapidly. Perhaps it’s because in our busy, every day lives we don’t take enough time to notice the changing seasons; they seem to creep up on us all of a sudden.

I love the sun. The warmth makes me feel brighter, gives me more energy and generally makes me a happier person all round. So bring it on I say!

Just want to say a quick HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Dad, Blue Dave. It was his birthday yesterday! Wish I could have been there Dad, but fingers crossed it won’t be that long until I’m home… and then you’ll be sick of the sight of me!

Next week is going to be a busy time for us. We’re working during the Edinburgh Ghost Fest at both Mary Kings Close and the Edinburgh Vaults running public investigations. In fact we’re involved in something really special this year – the first EVER public investigation to be allowed overnight in Mary Kings Close. The Close is a fantastic location, both for it’s historical significance and for it’s amazing paranormal activity. There are a lot of locations around that promote themselves as being ‘haunted’ but Mary Kings Close is one of the few where we’ve found genuine ‘unexplainable’ activity. Have a look at the link below…

http://www.realmarykingsclose.com/home.htm

... for more information.

I’m also looking forward to having our friend Roe to stay from Louisiana, USA. She’s staying with us during the festival and I’m looking forward to meeting her properly after months of internet communication. It’ll be great to show her around the area and visit some of the tourist spots.

Then, at the end of the month I’m looking forward to a weekend in Glasgow with my Mum, Kriss. February and our last visit together feels so long ago and I can’t wait to spend some quality ‘girly’ time with my Mum. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful Mum and a best friend all rolled into one. I know many people aren’t fortunate enough to be so close to their parents and I’m thankful for that relationship every day.

All in all May is turning out to be a busy month.

For Jimmy

2006-04-27T02:03:00.000-07:00

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

By Christina Rossetti

So, what you're actually trying to say is...

2006-04-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports) and from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:

1. A gross ignoramus = 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

2. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

3. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

4. A room temperature IQ.

5. Bright as Alaska in December.

6. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

7. Fell out of the family tree.

8. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

9. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

10. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

12. He's so dense, light bends around him.

13. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

14. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

15. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

16. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

17. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

18. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

19. One neuron short of a synapse.

20. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

22. Takes him 10 hours to watch 60 minutes. 23. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

24. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Actual quotes from Federal employee performance evaluations:

1. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this employee to breed.

4. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

6. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

7. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

8. This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

9. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

10. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

11. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

I've got that Wednesday feeling...

2006-04-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, and almost the end of another week… almost.

I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend, spending some quality time with Mike and perhaps pootering around the house.

Sometimes I like nothing better than just ‘pootering’ and for those of you who aren’t in the know; ‘Pootering’ is a little like pottering… only much more laid back.

The weather has been great this week. Sunshine, clear skies and a fresh wind blowing. It finally feels as though summer is on the way – although I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it rains all weekend, especially considering I’m at work all week!

Unfortunately though the lighter mornings mean that I’m waking with the birds at around 4.30am. I insist on going back to sleep mind you… I mean what kind of ungodly hour is 4.30am to get up in the mornings?

I’ve been feeling so much more positive about things – and I’m beginning to learn that I’ll be me, no matter what other people think of me. Besides – the important people in my life know and love me for who I am. I’m so lucky to have a family and close friends who appreciate me – even if I am a little strange.

As Chidinma Obietikponah once said

Always show the you in you that makes you the you that you are.

Well...

2006-03-16T12:49:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week.

Sunday was a fantastic day - despite the snow. I've never seen weather like it down here in Kirkcaldy, Fife. It reminded me so much of being a kid and the snow we used to get up north that I dragged Mike out for a snow ball fight and to build a snow man... except our snow 'man' turned into a snow 'bear'...

Meet Pedro the Polar Bear...

It was brilliant - haven't laughed so much in ages...

We came back inside very wet, cold and tired... but it was well worth it. I felt 10 years old again.

This week has been pretty intense. I've been on something called ITIL training... I won't go into it but let's just say my head is a bit pickled right now... and if I was ever wondering if this was the right job for me... well I think this week has decided it for me. I need to be doing something more worthwhile with my life... I just don't understand the importance people put on money, processes and business... it just doesn't compute in my mind and never will... I'd rather be digging ditches on a tiger reserve in South East Asia... or teaching children in Africa... or helping rebuild homes and schools in India.

I just wish I knew where to start... how to get there.

If anyone has any tips...

It's almost the weekend again...

2006-02-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

... can you believe it?! It'll be a week tomorrow that we travelled up north to spend a long weekend celebrating my birthday. I can't believe the time has past so quickly; but then I guess that's what a busy week at work will do for you. We had a wonderful weekend away. We traveled up on the Thursday and arrived at Forres around 5.40pm where we were picked up by Kristine; the owner of 'The Old Kirk' guest house where we were staying. She drove us the short distance the the guest house - what a beautiful place! Our jaws dropped when we pulled up outside the old converted church. The kirk has been converted, keeping many of its original features and it really is stunning:

We spent that evening relaxing in the guest lounge, infront of an open fire, drinking wine, playing chess and chatting.

It was wonderful.

We spent my birthday with my family and had a wonderful meal in Forres. It was fantastic to see my folks again; especially Dave (my brother) and Laura (my sister in law). I haven't seen either of them since their wedding last year in July, so it was great to catch up and finally see them.

'The Bump' is getting bigger by the day and I was lucky enough to feel the baby kicking - I'm not broody! Honestly!

The rest of the weekend was spent talking walks, relaxing and spending time with my partner Mike. To be honest it's made me realise just how much time we waste watching the tele or surfing the internet. It was nice to have time together, talking, playing chess and generally enjoying each other's company.

So - all in all, it was a brilliant Birthday.

I've posted some more images from the guest house below; the link is:

http://www.oldkirk.co.uk

Our beautiful room

The Guest Lounge

More of the lounge area

Mum and Dad

The Atkinson Clan

Sunday, Sunday

2006-02-12T03:44:00.000-08:00

Well - it's Sunday again.

This week has been so busy, and spectacularly stressful, and as usual the weekend has flown by just a quickly. Back to work tomorrow.

*Groan*

It's my birthday on Friday; Mike and I are travelling up north to stay in a lovely looking guest house for three nights. Wonderfully, the Guest House isn't that far from my parents home so we'll be meeting up to spend some time together and go for a birthday meal. I can't wait to see them again.

I'll also be able to catch up with my brother and his wife. Laura is expecting their first baby and I can't wait to see them and 'The Bump'.

Well - Mike is listening to the football... time for me to start the house work.

It never ends does it?!

The beginning...

2006-02-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

Well - time really does seem to be flying by. I can't believe it's almost the middle of February 2006. As my mum said on her blog recently; time does seem to speed up the older you get.

It's 10 years in August since I first moved to Kirkcaldy, Fife, to attend drama college, moving away from my family in Elgin (the north of Scotland) as a young teenager. In many ways it feels like only yesterday; I still feel like the same excitable 16 year old; but when I look back at all I've experienced, learnt and been through I realise I'm a very different person.

Of course, everyone changes as they get older and wiser (or in my case, more cynical!). But it's a frightening experience to wake up one day and realise you're an adult, with responsibilities and commitments!

I've always been a very independent soul. I don't do things the easy way, especially emotions, and tend to make life somewhat difficult for myself. But, although it's been hard in many ways, I feel that the journey has been worth it... I wouldn't be who I am today after all if it wasn't for my experiences.

So where now?

Well, over the past two years I've been becoming more and more homesick. I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful partner (Picture evidence of the lovely man himself below -)

Mike supports me in ways I can't describe. He's my whole world - the thought of him makes me smile and it's that thought that gets me through each day. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Anyway - enough of that mush!

As I was saying, I'm lucky enough to have a wonderfuly partner who happens to come from a large Catholic family. His family have welcomed me into their lives and I'm grateful for that; but it's just not the same as having my own family close at hand. I see my family only a few times a year and I miss them dreadfully.

I think it all began when my Dad, Dave http://www.akshot.blogspot.com/, had his heartattack at the end of 2004. It frightened me, plain and simple. I felt a million miles from home and the journey from Kirkcaldy to Aberdeen on the train was one of the longest of my life! From that moment on I've been desperate to get home, be closer to my family and be a bigger part of their lives. I feel as though I've missed out on so much. My brother, David, married his partner Laura last year and they are expecting their first baby. There is no way I want to be a distant Auntie who only sees her niece/nephew a couple of times a year.

Again, I'm fortunate in that Mike is happy to move back up North with me. I mean, who great is that? He's willing to move away from his own family in order for me to feel closer to mine. What more could a woman ask for?

That's it for now... I could go on and on but I'll give you a break from my ramblings... for now!